Attachment Issues

When I meet someone new I go through the same things that everyone else does. You ask yourself the questions “Can I get along with this person? Could I call this person a friend? Would this person want to be my friend?”. A lot of time the answers to these questions are yes but due to circumstances full friendships do not form. This happened a lot of times to me when I was out on work-term during my undergrad years. I would work with people who I enjoyed being around and could see myself being friends with but rarely did the relationship turn into anything more than casual friendship. I guess this is normal since not everyone is looking for a friend since they already have enough already and/or we are only going to be working together for a couple of months and after that it is unlikely we will see each other. This happens online as well but it is much more one-sided. I read someones blog and think to myself “I could easily be friends with this person” but many things keep me from expanding on this friendship. The first and foremost would be the “creep” factor. Would you really like to get continuing emails and ICQ messages from a guy that you didn’t know? You’d probably think that was kind of creepy. The second thing is distance. You can always have an online friendship but it is always nice to be able to get together and chat over coffee.
Along with this I also have attachment problems. When I meet someone I get along with I always feel bad when I see them go. That doesn’t mean I bug them to no end or do anything like that. It’s just for me it is difficult to let someone go. Someone who was/is a potential friend. A lot of the time it feels like a part of me has been lost when that person leaves my life. It’s even worse when people who were close friends drift away. Online it is similar. If someone closes down their blog it feels like I’m losing something. I also feel this way by not trying to form a friendship with bloggers. I feel like I’m missing out on experiences and different viewpoints and different personalities.
Sometimes when I am walking around town (or at school) I look at people and feel sad that I’m never going to know most of them. I’m sure there are many that I wouldn’t want to be friends with but there are bound to be many people who would be great friends.

1 Comment

  1. hello there, just surfed in from firda’s blog.
    couldn’t resisted the ‘attachment issues’ title as i read along. i am slightly like you.. i feel this sense of unwillingness to see someone go if i think we really get along well.
    anyway, a lovely read.. and the cats are very cute.
    good day.

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