American TV

When I watch American televison I come up with the distinct belief that all Americans have:
1) Indigestion
2) Diarreha and/or constipation
3) Asthma
4) Genital Herpes
5) Heart Problems
And to get rid of these problems Americans must take something which may result in headaches, dry mouth, lumpy oatmeal, rapid rabid monkey attacks, stomach aches, more diarreha, dog leg-humping, measles, rapid leg hair growth, heart palpatations and oily discharge (aka anal leakage, pleasant thoughts).
I’m glad I’m not an American 🙂

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  1. It seems to me like every “cure” has worse effects than the orginal problem. I think i’ll just stick out my problems and let nature have its way with me. Oh and don’t forget that we also smell and forget to wash our hair.

  2. That is the way I think about it as well. If it isn’t life-threatening then I’ll let nature take care of it (unless it’s a headache, then I’ll take an aspirin) 🙂

  3. You have truely gleaned the truth about Americans from American TV…you have found us out!!! You are just sooo spot on…I can’t believe it! But is there any cure????!?!?!